30 Signs that you’re a calisthenics athlete

by Milo of Croton

Maybe you compete in Street Workout competitions at an international level. Maybe you just unlocked your first pull-up. But if you suspect that you might be becoming a calisthenics athlete, the only proven way to find out is to look for the following tell tale signs:

1. You get angry when you see people doing pull-ups with bad form

2. You think taking your shirt off helps your dips

3. Your parents think you might be in a gang

4. You believe that commenting on Medrano or Hannibal For King’s form is sacrilegious

5. You can’t understand why girls aren’t impressed by front levers

6. You’ll die before admitting you used to do CrossFit

7. Every holiday post is actually a handstand post

8. You want tattoo sleeves so you can be a bit more like Chris Heria

9. You think Eastern Europeans have developed a drug that improves statics

10. You own blue shorts

11.There is chalk on your blue shorts

12. You try to find cali parks on google before you go on holidays

13. Your old friends don’t know what calisthenics is

14. Your new friends do calisthenics

15. You watch every new planche tutorial in case there’s a trick to it

16. You’ve written to your council about getting new bars

17. You’ve searched for ‘Daniels Laizans in shorts’ on youtube to find out if he has legs

18. You accidentally called your girlfriend Melanie Driessen once

19. You wonder if there’s a man somewhere with worn out rotator cuffs called Peter Hefesto

20. You lost your muscle up once

21. You’ve blamed genetics for your woes

22. You have a PERFORMIX shirt

23. You’re the weird guy in the gym

24. You’ve said “yeah but he used to be a gymnast”

25. People think you secretly lift weights

26. You’re really good at rock climbing for about 20 seconds until you hit muscle failure

27. Your favourite form of cardio is freestyle

28. You’ve thought that you’re getting too old to unlock a skill

29. A crossfitter has told you “we do that at CrossFit”

30. You suspect that Osvaldo Lugones is not completely human


If I’ve left any out let me know in the comments!

Please let me know if there’s anything that you want me to cover (I write serious articles too!) here, or on  my Calisthenics Podcast. I look forward to seeing all of you at The Arnold Sports Festival in Melbourne this March or at the Sydney Fitness Show.

Follow me on instagram @crotontraining

Hit me up by email [email protected] for online training


Milo of Croton

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Written by Milo of Croton
Owner of the <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/au/podcast/calisthenics-podcast/id1390881115?mt=2" rel="nofollow">Calisthenics Podcast</a> and <a href="http://www.croton-training.com" rel="nofollow">www.croton-training.com</a>. I am a personal trainer that specialises in calisthenics- it is both my passion and my career! In my own training I focus mostly on statics and the basics. I think that calisthenics is going to grow in Australia and I want to be a part of that growth.
Have your say!
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  1. Lol love it. 23, 24, 25 so true

  2. I hit about 20 of those 😂 Cali athlete confirmed, all my hard work has finally paid off 💪🏼💪🏼

    • 24 brooo 🙈🙈🙈

  3. 31. You have an album on your phone with pictures of your torn callouses


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